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Posted by feedthemoon in Uncategorized.

The venue: Virgin Megastore, Piccadilly Circus:   Katie Price was there to promote her latest warts-and-all book: ‘Not Just a Pair of Tits’ when something incredible happened.

Her jaw suddenly slackened, and her eyes took on a blank, vacant expression; Yet remarkably no one noticed this subtle change in her demeanour. According to some witnesses however, she carried on signing copies of her latest autobiography as if on auto-pilot. Naomi Pearce was one of the fans present:

‘She carried on muttering things like, ‘Yeah’ and ‘Nice one’, but somehow she just seemed to be elsewhere.’

Unbeknownst to Naomi and the hundreds of other gathered fans of the  megastar, the silicone enhanced celebrity was actually on the verge of a divine revelation. 

Katie Price: Blank-eyed, vacant expression - no one noticed the difference.

 Her Unofficial agent and mentor Harvey Goldman was the first to notice that something was wrong, he abruptly terminated the signing session as her huge entourage attempted to whisk her away.  A close confidente and friend later confided: ‘We are used to her slipping into these ‘absenses’ – but that’s usually after the cameras have stopped filming.  She literally closes down when not being filmed or photographed, her mouth hangs open and she is unable to speak – it’s like she saves all her energies for performing.  This was different though, she was still the centre of attention – she’s a consumate professional, we knew something was up immediately.’

As she was being whisked away, she suddenly wrestled free.  Now it was the media and fans who would be rendered slack-jawed as she artfully gave her minders the slip, and leapt onto the desk, announcing:

‘All things are willed into existence by the creative mind, don’t you see? – It’s all shadow-play. -Our realities are actually determined by our perceptions of reality. -It’s simple when you think about it, innit?’ 

Realising that these insightful outbursts were disturbingly out of character, her agent and advisors hurriedly pulled her off the desk and in the confusion and mellee that followed, one of her minders appeared to pull out a syringe and administer some kind of seditive.

Before the drug took effect, she was heard to shout: ‘There’s no real authority, except the authority of your own sovereign being!’, before she slipped peacefully into a drug-enduced sleep. 

Although her management were not available for comment, many of her fans were more than willing to relate what they saw:

One tear-stained fan declared: ‘I’m going to pray for her tonight.  She must be under bags of stress – she was speaking jibberish really – it was like she wasn’t there at all, like she was possessed by demons’.

‘Maybe the stress of her break-up with Peter Andre has finally caught up with her’, observed Darren Marsh from Hepstow, gravely.



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