MANDELSON INTERUPTS OPERA TO ANNOUNCE: ‘I DID NOT BLOW ROTHSCHILD IN RETURN FOR £1MILLION HOUSE!’ July 25, 2010Posted by feedthemoon in Uncategorized.
The performers on stage froze and every head in the house turned toward the beknighted spin-doctor, who wasn’t finished yet:
‘And he had absolutely nothing, NOTHING to do with the purchase of my million pound house! Okay? Satisfied?’
You could have heard a pin drop in this most prestigious of venues:
‘Just wanted to nip that one in the bud!’ he said, as his partner rose to steer Mr Mandelson back to his seat.
There was an embarrassed silence, and some awkward clearing of throats. Mandelson, seeming somewhat relieved to have got that off his chest, allowed himself to be gently eased back into his seat, whereupon he straightened his tie, and with a rather magisterial sweep of the hand laid the matter to rest:
‘Now can we please just get on with the show?’ He said.
And after a moments pause, the show continued and all heads eventually faced the stage.
‘The funny thing is’, one opera-buff said to me during the interval, ‘I hadn’t even heard of these rumours.’
Another woman seemed rather perplexed:
‘Was he talking about fellatio?’ she asked, incredulously.
Her American husband lightened the mood by adding, ‘what’s Fellatio honey, another Verdi opera?’
Unfortunately, Lord Mandelson didn’t stick around to hear the laughter, and the royal box remained resolutely empty for the second half of the show.
By Matthew Crabstick, Political Editor.